I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
