you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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