He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
