walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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