all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Someone came in the potted fern
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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