Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
