help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
