Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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