Pappa wants mamma naked
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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