Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
