I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
