Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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