Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
