Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
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I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
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if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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