So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I need moral support for this bender
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
