the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
