Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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