The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
