i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
