it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
