That's when you crack a 10am beer
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
