He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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