Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
