You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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