Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
