So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
