i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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