Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
