i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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