The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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