Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize