so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
