you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
