Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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