I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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