Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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