I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
