I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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