terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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