I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
