I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i would one night stand the shit outta him
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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