sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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