marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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