I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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