I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
