Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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