Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
