for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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