my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize