Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
