Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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