i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
