Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
