The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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