Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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