i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
honey bunches of taint.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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