Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
