She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
