Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
