Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
