There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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