Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize