i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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