what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
