By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize