I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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